Time to be nostalgic and look at the artwork I painted when I was in love and loved back, and heart broken.

 

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Bathroom princess was commission as a gift of Love from a man to his woman.I was so grateful for him paying me before even starting I really had outdone myself.

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Heart break. This artwork is about heart break and how I felt when I found out I was being lied to. Nothing left to say,  people  had even tore this painting for me out of jealousy.

Stripper

This  Stripper is about a girl,  just really wondering what to do with her life. If there is a better life elsewhere or with someone else.

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When I was loved, and still loved. How a person can mark your skin and change your dynamic like a tattoo.

Bath

Painted this when pregnant. Waiting for Levi.This painting is about transformation.It is a bit odd as it seems like she is drowning, and bitten by snakes but  this artwork is about the magic and pain a woman feels during pregnancy.

SUNFLOWER

An artwork about relaxation, fulfilment, passion and beauty. I called her sunflower, but this is my recurring theme of  Venus. Life is good.

 

 

 

I didn’t write long paragraphs about each painting  But I decided to group them for today to look at how I changed during the years.

Love is  the most powerful emotion for us  humans and being an artist, I have to acknowledge that it has been a driving force in giving me inspiration for a lot of my works.

 

 

 

Magic Realism

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This is one of the artworks that has taken me the longest hours.

I had just moved into my studio in Valletta, and wanted to show Valletta through a

different lens.  This painting is about Barrakka Gardens at night.

I had just come over from a long stay in Madrid where I had deepened my

knowledge  of magical,  the surreal and the superstitious.

One thing I had learnt from the Spanish is to be  myself with a passion . I cannot hide the

fact, that nothing left an impact on my persona and my character as the books I read

when I was a child.

Magic realist literature from latin America   strengthened my need of the absurd and

fantastical so I just decided to turn Barrakka Gardens, into a magical garden of fairies ,

cherubs and incredible animals. The garden I painted  is only visible like this to

children  who like Antonio Sciortino’s les Gavroches, are wandering starry eyed at the

marvels around them.

 

When Girls undress- my painted porn posters.

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Human sexuality is one of the most intricate concepts we humans face. We  still  struggle with over coming taboos and  conventions which try to control an individual’s sexuality and gender.

As French cultural theorist and renegade Surrealist wrote .’Eroticism , unlike simple sexual activity, is  a psychological quest independent of the natural goal’.

This is what fascinates me so much with the Porn Cinema Poster collection from Citylights Valletta and why people are so interested in it.They are portals to the pornographic world which is a taboo, and these  images represent   the unconsummated desire  of something which one cannot publicly show interest in. Looking at them in their historical context, tagging them as vintage,buying the work of an artist who reconstructed them,  makes one’s desire a justified erotic desire.

Some posters  have  an intense  sense of  aesthetics others lack lustre and are just pointblank raw, depending on the type of sexual fantasy  being sold in the film.

As a woman and a feminist I am torn on how or what stand to take when it comes to the sex industry.Should we legalise aspects to it so that we have more control and help its victims? I don’t know and I will not argue.

I couldn’t help myself but feel sorry for these women on these posters, most of them consenting adults.

I was lucky enough to be given cut outS and doubles and I decided to draw on them decorative images which give another narrative  other than raw sexuality, aiming at giving more dignity to the female figures on the poster.

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Where the Wild things are- I wanted a boy like Max.

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When I was pregnant, I spent endless hours  thinking about 2 things. The name I was going to give my son, and the books I was going to read to him. The  thing about being in a strong and healthy relationship is the fact that certain decisions have to be made by both parents. So I couldn’t really have my way with his name, but maybe that was a good thing. On the other hand, the great thing about being in a strong healthy relationship  is that  parents divide their duties with their children and in this case, literature and education were left totally in my hands.

I spent hours looking for the best picture books with the best stories possible and out of everything, Where the Wild things are, just stood out in every sense. In my eyes, little Max causing mischief of all kinds, sent to bed without dinner, and then dreaming of becoming the king of the Wild things is just too perfect a way to describe a boy.To think that in all this book maybe has 10 sentences and that it is mostly made of pictures makes it even more powerful.

I never managed to find a wolf suit, but I did dress my baby as a wild little cuddly bear. I took some snaps when he was asleep but I drew his sleepy face whilst I was wearing him in  the carrier. I really hope my son grows up to have an incredible imagination  like Max. It would make his childhood magical.

And whilst I was drawing him, I kept repeating to myself…’I’ll eat you up I love you so’

 

 

 

About being Quixotic.

 

 

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I always wanted to be an artist because I was good at drawing and I used to think that it would have made me rich. Hate me or love me for it, I had always been motivated by the big pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Little did I know that  one can get lost on rainbows.

Seems like  I  underestimated myself.  Dedicating my life to the brush and colours  made me become this quixotic natured  artist.  I sometimes hate myself for being so idealistic and chivalrous but I really can’t help it. And although I try to kid myself that I am in this game for the money, I just am not….

This  is an old painting of mine. It is called Ghost. The girl in the picture is my aunt. She killed herself at the age of 32. She was beautiful to look at, but her life was marred by tragedy ,loss, disease and heart break. I was 17 when she passed away. People still look at me and say to me that I look like her. It doesn’t bother me at all. She was so beautiful.

She is the biggest regret in my life. I feel that I could have saved her if I  had shown a bit more love. She was so misunderstood and so unlucky. Even her wedding day, was a spectacle to forget. She  married out of despair and had such a horrid little poor gathering ,not even her wedding dress was nice. She so deserved much more than life had offered her.

So I decided to paint her in a wonderful wedding dress, with swans and angles looking down on her, with lovely flowers in her hair among the stars and she loves it. This is my gift of love to her spirit watching over me.

This is the great thing about being an artist. Sometimes you can do things you wish you could have done  and heal a wound. Sometimes you can show love in a way you could have never been able to express in words or actions.

 

 

 

 

Fireflies/ Luccole

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I am not always  serious and in need to save the world.

Sometimes, I just paint things I like when I listen to music I like.

In this case, I was inspired by this song

 

I saw fireflies once in Italy. They were so cute  and magical.I always wished to wake up at night  and look out of my windowsill and see fireflies dancing around my  bonsai.

HOT – about Prickly pears and Halos.

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I always feel guilty that I differ from most of my  Maltese family of artists as I don’t really paint landscapes of our beloved little island. Although I appreciate  the scenes and lovely buildings, it just isn’t my line. But I decided to make a painting about Malta without our lovely little boats and rocky coasts so  I focused on 4 things-

1.The heat- Our Incredible heatwaves, those when you feel like you are melting . That kind of heat that you start sweating right after you come out of a cold shower.

2.Prickly Pears- What would  Maltese landscape  and summer be without prickly pears? Not a Maltese summer of course.

3.The Religious paraphernalia- Catholic churches all over the place…. everyone prays when in need.

4. Plants in the yard. –  I have never seen a Maltese yard without  a couple of pots  with   some lovely plants in it.

As you might have guessed the image of the girl was taken from a pornographic cinema poster from the City lights collection.

But unlike what most people think, this painting is not just about sex in the heat.

It is a a painting about the repercussions of sex for a woman. Unlike a man, a woman looses her  value if she expresses her sexuality. Sex , apart from pleasure, makes babies. Giving birth is like sitting on a prickly pear cactus in extreme heat and pain in front of an audience.

Deciding to keep the baby or not is subject to a very judgemental audience as well. The abortion debate has the world divided.

Loosing the baby by miscarriage is also extremely painful and facing the audience is  just as painful, not to mention the void and pain one might feel.

Other women are kidnapped and  made to sell their sexuality on the streets,  some are beaten into sexual slavery by their own husbands. That must be very painful.

I am tired of being so unequal to men. I am tired of being  an object of sexual desire and then made to repress my sexuality.

I am tired of hearing about girls being kidnapped and pimped on the streets or of others who are beaten into submission and made to prostitute themselves and never find the support they deserve. I am tired of hearing about the atrocities of backyard abortions gone wrong. I am sick and tired of seeing women cry and feel  shamed for needing IVF.

No matter what everyone says, I feel that God is there for us all. He is there for the whore as much as he is there for the woman who lost her child. God is looking over the woman who is struggling and deciding whether to keep her baby or not and trying to help her out and find the best possible solution for her and her child.

Sex for us women is just not what it is for men. It is a painful ordeal, the cross we have to bear ,for being women.

And don’t forget we have to shave our legs…………

 

 

 

 

 

 

Golden Threads – how Gold leaf, Balloons and Cranes came along…. on a Screen.

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As a painter, I do sometimes feel cheated  that my artwork has to always hang on a wall, so as I was navigating the internet and found the amazing screens of  one of my super favourite artists, Hernan Baas, I decided to look into the art of the room divider. I found out that many artists, all those that count at least, have explored the art of the screen. To my delight as I had previously stated my love for Japanese Geishas and art… I also explored a lot of Japanese screens which were mostly done on paper and wood, gilded with gold. Apart from that a painted screen  gives painting a sculptural edge to it that for many artists  is hard to resist.

Then I studied a bit more about gold. Gold is an amazing medium apart from being expensive. It’s most superb quality is how  it reflects light. As you move around the room, the light on gold changes making it glisten.

This artwork is the product of months and months of research and thought. All my black and white drawing  were the preparatory work for this piece.Many believe that my choice for cranes is the fact that my son was just born, well maybe it is.

Cranes are a lucky symbol in Japanese art, and legend says that they live for 1000 s of years..

These magnificent  animals wouldn’t last a day here on this Island would they? Humans have a need to capture something they  deem as beautiful .So how was I gonna capture those Cranes without shooting them down?

I decided to create magical golden threads, to hold them down for a bit before they take off. And whilst at it,  throw a bit of a party with balloons.

In the back of my mind, I always feel that plastic is ruining our environment and endangering our beautiful animals . Although it is disguised as  a necessary evil, we really need to stop and think. Hunters are not the only threat to our  birds.

It may be a bit unwise to tell, that this beautiful image, is about  pollution….but it is.

 

 

 

Blossoms from Within –

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I have been mad about Geishas since 1998.  It was during my first trip away from Malta

to Amsterdam . At the Van Gogh’ museum, the artwork that struck me the most was his

Geisha . And my  obsession began.I  have been painting Geishas since.

 

As  many of the others, this image was taken from a pornographic image of an Asian girl

from a porn  Cinema Poster. I have  been working on this painting for 2 years, the

flowers  were the latest  addition to the work which was monochromatic before.

Since I have had a child, I have realised that a woman’s body is a garden. We have a

heart that beats with love for the man of our dreams. We work hard for our dreams and

are independent. Some of us dedicate our lives to our family and stay at home. We can

have children. We feel pain, sorrow and joy. We wear perfume and choose our

clothes.Many collect shoes.Others love their cats, some their dogs. Many become

accomplished  in their sector.Women breath,  have dreams and aspirations. Showing the

Woman ‘s body as just an object for sexual gratification is too limited a view. There is so

much more to a woman’s body than just sex.  Yes,  sexual attraction comes naturally, but

that is not the only thing a woman’s body is for.

The Human body is a garden.  It is a cultivated intricate web of memories, skills, sadness,

happiness hopes and dreams. A human being has feelings. A human being  suffers when

ill treated and is unloved.

Nobody has the right to over look the importance and beauty of a woman  and use

her  for his own pleasure.