Where the Wild things are- I wanted a boy like Max.

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When I was pregnant, I spent endless hours  thinking about 2 things. The name I was going to give my son, and the books I was going to read to him. The  thing about being in a strong and healthy relationship is the fact that certain decisions have to be made by both parents. So I couldn’t really have my way with his name, but maybe that was a good thing. On the other hand, the great thing about being in a strong healthy relationship  is that  parents divide their duties with their children and in this case, literature and education were left totally in my hands.

I spent hours looking for the best picture books with the best stories possible and out of everything, Where the Wild things are, just stood out in every sense. In my eyes, little Max causing mischief of all kinds, sent to bed without dinner, and then dreaming of becoming the king of the Wild things is just too perfect a way to describe a boy.To think that in all this book maybe has 10 sentences and that it is mostly made of pictures makes it even more powerful.

I never managed to find a wolf suit, but I did dress my baby as a wild little cuddly bear. I took some snaps when he was asleep but I drew his sleepy face whilst I was wearing him in  the carrier. I really hope my son grows up to have an incredible imagination  like Max. It would make his childhood magical.

And whilst I was drawing him, I kept repeating to myself…’I’ll eat you up I love you so’

 

 

 

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About being Quixotic.

 

 

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I always wanted to be an artist because I was good at drawing and I used to think that it would have made me rich. Hate me or love me for it, I had always been motivated by the big pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Little did I know that  one can get lost on rainbows.

Seems like  I  underestimated myself.  Dedicating my life to the brush and colours  made me become this quixotic natured  artist.  I sometimes hate myself for being so idealistic and chivalrous but I really can’t help it. And although I try to kid myself that I am in this game for the money, I just am not….

This  is an old painting of mine. It is called Ghost. The girl in the picture is my aunt. She killed herself at the age of 32. She was beautiful to look at, but her life was marred by tragedy ,loss, disease and heart break. I was 17 when she passed away. People still look at me and say to me that I look like her. It doesn’t bother me at all. She was so beautiful.

She is the biggest regret in my life. I feel that I could have saved her if I  had shown a bit more love. She was so misunderstood and so unlucky. Even her wedding day, was a spectacle to forget. She  married out of despair and had such a horrid little poor gathering ,not even her wedding dress was nice. She so deserved much more than life had offered her.

So I decided to paint her in a wonderful wedding dress, with swans and angles looking down on her, with lovely flowers in her hair among the stars and she loves it. This is my gift of love to her spirit watching over me.

This is the great thing about being an artist. Sometimes you can do things you wish you could have done  and heal a wound. Sometimes you can show love in a way you could have never been able to express in words or actions.

 

 

 

 

Fireflies/ Luccole

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I am not always  serious and in need to save the world.

Sometimes, I just paint things I like when I listen to music I like.

In this case, I was inspired by this song

 

I saw fireflies once in Italy. They were so cute  and magical.I always wished to wake up at night  and look out of my windowsill and see fireflies dancing around my  bonsai.

HOT – about Prickly pears and Halos.

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I always feel guilty that I differ from most of my  Maltese family of artists as I don’t really paint landscapes of our beloved little island. Although I appreciate  the scenes and lovely buildings, it just isn’t my line. But I decided to make a painting about Malta without our lovely little boats and rocky coasts so  I focused on 4 things-

1.The heat- Our Incredible heatwaves, those when you feel like you are melting . That kind of heat that you start sweating right after you come out of a cold shower.

2.Prickly Pears- What would  Maltese landscape  and summer be without prickly pears? Not a Maltese summer of course.

3.The Religious paraphernalia- Catholic churches all over the place…. everyone prays when in need.

4. Plants in the yard. –  I have never seen a Maltese yard without  a couple of pots  with   some lovely plants in it.

As you might have guessed the image of the girl was taken from a pornographic cinema poster from the City lights collection.

But unlike what most people think, this painting is not just about sex in the heat.

It is a a painting about the repercussions of sex for a woman. Unlike a man, a woman looses her  value if she expresses her sexuality. Sex , apart from pleasure, makes babies. Giving birth is like sitting on a prickly pear cactus in extreme heat and pain in front of an audience.

Deciding to keep the baby or not is subject to a very judgemental audience as well. The abortion debate has the world divided.

Loosing the baby by miscarriage is also extremely painful and facing the audience is  just as painful, not to mention the void and pain one might feel.

Other women are kidnapped and  made to sell their sexuality on the streets,  some are beaten into sexual slavery by their own husbands. That must be very painful.

I am tired of being so unequal to men. I am tired of being  an object of sexual desire and then made to repress my sexuality.

I am tired of hearing about girls being kidnapped and pimped on the streets or of others who are beaten into submission and made to prostitute themselves and never find the support they deserve. I am tired of hearing about the atrocities of backyard abortions gone wrong. I am sick and tired of seeing women cry and feel  shamed for needing IVF.

No matter what everyone says, I feel that God is there for us all. He is there for the whore as much as he is there for the woman who lost her child. God is looking over the woman who is struggling and deciding whether to keep her baby or not and trying to help her out and find the best possible solution for her and her child.

Sex for us women is just not what it is for men. It is a painful ordeal, the cross we have to bear ,for being women.

And don’t forget we have to shave our legs…………

 

 

 

 

 

 

Golden Threads – how Gold leaf, Balloons and Cranes came along…. on a Screen.

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As a painter, I do sometimes feel cheated  that my artwork has to always hang on a wall, so as I was navigating the internet and found the amazing screens of  one of my super favourite artists, Hernan Baas, I decided to look into the art of the room divider. I found out that many artists, all those that count at least, have explored the art of the screen. To my delight as I had previously stated my love for Japanese Geishas and art… I also explored a lot of Japanese screens which were mostly done on paper and wood, gilded with gold. Apart from that a painted screen  gives painting a sculptural edge to it that for many artists  is hard to resist.

Then I studied a bit more about gold. Gold is an amazing medium apart from being expensive. It’s most superb quality is how  it reflects light. As you move around the room, the light on gold changes making it glisten.

This artwork is the product of months and months of research and thought. All my black and white drawing  were the preparatory work for this piece.Many believe that my choice for cranes is the fact that my son was just born, well maybe it is.

Cranes are a lucky symbol in Japanese art, and legend says that they live for 1000 s of years..

These magnificent  animals wouldn’t last a day here on this Island would they? Humans have a need to capture something they  deem as beautiful .So how was I gonna capture those Cranes without shooting them down?

I decided to create magical golden threads, to hold them down for a bit before they take off. And whilst at it,  throw a bit of a party with balloons.

In the back of my mind, I always feel that plastic is ruining our environment and endangering our beautiful animals . Although it is disguised as  a necessary evil, we really need to stop and think. Hunters are not the only threat to our  birds.

It may be a bit unwise to tell, that this beautiful image, is about  pollution….but it is.

 

 

 

Blossoms from Within –

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I have been mad about Geishas since 1998.  It was during my first trip away from Malta

to Amsterdam . At the Van Gogh’ museum, the artwork that struck me the most was his

Geisha . And my  obsession began.I  have been painting Geishas since.

 

As  many of the others, this image was taken from a pornographic image of an Asian girl

from a porn  Cinema Poster. I have  been working on this painting for 2 years, the

flowers  were the latest  addition to the work which was monochromatic before.

Since I have had a child, I have realised that a woman’s body is a garden. We have a

heart that beats with love for the man of our dreams. We work hard for our dreams and

are independent. Some of us dedicate our lives to our family and stay at home. We can

have children. We feel pain, sorrow and joy. We wear perfume and choose our

clothes.Many collect shoes.Others love their cats, some their dogs. Many become

accomplished  in their sector.Women breath,  have dreams and aspirations. Showing the

Woman ‘s body as just an object for sexual gratification is too limited a view. There is so

much more to a woman’s body than just sex.  Yes,  sexual attraction comes naturally, but

that is not the only thing a woman’s body is for.

The Human body is a garden.  It is a cultivated intricate web of memories, skills, sadness,

happiness hopes and dreams. A human being has feelings. A human being  suffers when

ill treated and is unloved.

Nobody has the right to over look the importance and beauty of a woman  and use

her  for his own pleasure.

 

 

 

 

About Constellations and Stars, and Astral Projection

 

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One of the things that helped me cope with  the incredible heartlessness of this world, is

meditation.

In my meditation , I travel  the Universe and navigate through different galaxies

Although I always go back  to my favourite star,  lately I have been

going around and seeing amazing things. Sometimes I also meet other travellers like me

out there. I am not the most seasoned of travellers … but I invite anyone , to close their

eyes when in bed and think of the stars. Maybe you won’t manage to  do Astral

Projection, but if you just picture yourself outside  in the universe looking down on

earth, you would be overwhelmed by it’s beauty.

Before dear reader, you think I am odd, be aware that travelling  with the stars  has

been a shamanic practice for native Americans since many moons . One should  also

keep in mind that someone who travels at night in his sleep, has many beautiful things in

his head to ever be let down by common human  needs of material goods.

Stars just make everything more beautiful.

This painting is my response to a vintage  porn cinema poster  of a movie called When

Girls Undress.   I have been working on this painting for over 2 years now. Only now did

I decide to give this stripper a touch of the Universe  to help her out of the murky world

she is living in  and also make her more beautiful , giving her more  dignity  and show

the rest of the world that these women, are just people like us and they shouldn’t be

forgotten.

We are one  with the Universe. We have no right to disrespect, to hate and use other

people for our pleasure.  We are meant to live together in love and peace.

And for all those who have a painting of mine and there is star there, then you now

know where it comes from.

 

On Being An Artist and a Mother

 

 

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I am not a great writer and will never be,  but I still am going to use the power of the internet and jot down in words how it feels to be a mother and an artist other than my colourful artworks.

It feels AMAZING .

Yes it is wonderful being the mother of such an amazing child and yes I do not have as much time as I used to  to paint, but the few minutes I  do, are more powerful than ever before.

I would  also like to take the opportunity to say thank you in this post.

I want to thank my amazing mother and father for giving me ongoing support and for loving  their grandson so much.

I also would like to thank my friends who have given me support in hard times  .

I would also like to thank the people who tried to destroy me and ravage all my work and efforts when they found me weak and unable to defend myself. You have showed me a side of  humanity that I didn’t know existed and I dedicate the above painting to you.

Your lies, your deceit, your masterplan in making me look bad and destroy my family when I was pregnant and when I had just given birth  just made me stronger.

This artwork is about  just that- The inner strength, the magic and the powerful force of nature that I had to summon in order to come back and gather the strength to come back  and be who I am – a lion.

Thank you

Collection- Japanese Horror!

 

Part of a collection that has been hidden in my studio since November2014  so I decided to share it on my blog

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This collection is based on the movie ‘House’ directed by Nobuhiko Obayashi

Obayashi incorporated themes of the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki into the script. Obayashi was born in Hiroshima and lost all his childhood friends from these bombings. Obayashi applied these themes with the plot element of a woman’s ghost waiting for her lover’s return from World War II. The woman’s bitterness about the war turns her into an evil spirit that devours the girls who were unaffected by the bombings.

This is one of the best reviews I have found

http://weirdfictionreview.com/2013/06/the-cutest-nightmare-you-ever-did-see-a-review-of-nobuhiko-obayashis-hausu/

Considering our troubled times and  constant treat of war, I decided that making a tribute to Hiroshima’s bombing , to the horrors Japan suffered and to remind the world that the Nuclear war is a real treat which we should work on avoiding happening again.

Because after all, the greatest horror, is WAR.

Japanese Horror Collection