The things that really count.

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In 2007,when I had just graduated from Art school ,being selected by a gallery was a dream. So when I was offered a contract by a gallery in London and was flown to Italy to be introduced to  other important galleries  exactly when graduating was , in my mind amazing.10 years on, the thought of dealing with a gallery stresses me out

Why?

Let me explain. We artists are led to believe that we need a gallery and that we should obey them  and bend to all their wishes. It is not like that. The truth is one.  The artist needs to remember that you, the artist are the gallery’s client and the ones who buy the artworks are the Gallery’s friends not vice versa.Another thing to keep in mind is the business plan. Each and every gallery needs to have a business plan and in every country , especially if in other continents , business plans differ.

Another important thing to keep in mind is money. I don’t care how much hate I am going to stir now, but  the truth is , Art is about money, it always was and will always be.The problem is that we artists are too busy thinking up incredibly beautiful things to ever think about money and the asshole rest of the world knows that and abuses us.For us everything is priceless. For the others, we are ‘money making machines’ as one millionaire many moons ago called me. So when we get sick  of the horrid system we try to set up a what is called an ARTIST LED SPACE. It sounds amazing until you try to do it. I tried and the consequences were disastrous. I am way too creative to be able to deal with the monetary side of things  not to mention being the creative person I am I risked  and enjoyed making mistakes and tried to make something out of them, like I do with the process of painting. I can say I had come up with the most incredible business plan with the most outrageous artists.   There was one major flaw in the great scheme of things. I forgot to employ a full time psychotherapist who specialises in creative people. No wonder Van Gogh  had cut off his ear when he had trouble with Gaugin.  Disputes amongst creatives are pretty much what Hollywood drama aspires to be but never will ( Thank God for that)

The latest bit of drama I had to endure  almost catapulted me into a storm between  powerful people. I spent  2 days in a corner trying to figure out why the hell I always let myself into such situations. I was ready to swear on a facebook post to never paint again.  I just cannot believe how naive I can be, or rather how I let my ego and need to succeed  govern my little bit of rationality.

So I decided to post a painting I just finished, with my son next to it.  This photo does not show the painting in it’s glory but it shows the most important  and most beautiful amazing gift I have. I have a son who loves to be with me in my studio whilst I paint.

God has given me what I always wanted, a son, a man to love and a studio. I don’t need anything else.

My season’s blessings to all of you  and a little reminder to  be grateful for all you have.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About being Quixotic.

 

 

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I always wanted to be an artist because I was good at drawing and I used to think that it would have made me rich. Hate me or love me for it, I had always been motivated by the big pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Little did I know that  one can get lost on rainbows.

Seems like  I  underestimated myself.  Dedicating my life to the brush and colours  made me become this quixotic natured  artist.  I sometimes hate myself for being so idealistic and chivalrous but I really can’t help it. And although I try to kid myself that I am in this game for the money, I just am not….

This  is an old painting of mine. It is called Ghost. The girl in the picture is my aunt. She killed herself at the age of 32. She was beautiful to look at, but her life was marred by tragedy ,loss, disease and heart break. I was 17 when she passed away. People still look at me and say to me that I look like her. It doesn’t bother me at all. She was so beautiful.

She is the biggest regret in my life. I feel that I could have saved her if I  had shown a bit more love. She was so misunderstood and so unlucky. Even her wedding day, was a spectacle to forget. She  married out of despair and had such a horrid little poor gathering ,not even her wedding dress was nice. She so deserved much more than life had offered her.

So I decided to paint her in a wonderful wedding dress, with swans and angles looking down on her, with lovely flowers in her hair among the stars and she loves it. This is my gift of love to her spirit watching over me.

This is the great thing about being an artist. Sometimes you can do things you wish you could have done  and heal a wound. Sometimes you can show love in a way you could have never been able to express in words or actions.

 

 

 

 

Blossoms from Within –

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I have been mad about Geishas since 1998.  It was during my first trip away from Malta

to Amsterdam . At the Van Gogh’ museum, the artwork that struck me the most was his

Geisha . And my  obsession began.I  have been painting Geishas since.

 

As  many of the others, this image was taken from a pornographic image of an Asian girl

from a porn  Cinema Poster. I have  been working on this painting for 2 years, the

flowers  were the latest  addition to the work which was monochromatic before.

Since I have had a child, I have realised that a woman’s body is a garden. We have a

heart that beats with love for the man of our dreams. We work hard for our dreams and

are independent. Some of us dedicate our lives to our family and stay at home. We can

have children. We feel pain, sorrow and joy. We wear perfume and choose our

clothes.Many collect shoes.Others love their cats, some their dogs. Many become

accomplished  in their sector.Women breath,  have dreams and aspirations. Showing the

Woman ‘s body as just an object for sexual gratification is too limited a view. There is so

much more to a woman’s body than just sex.  Yes,  sexual attraction comes naturally, but

that is not the only thing a woman’s body is for.

The Human body is a garden.  It is a cultivated intricate web of memories, skills, sadness,

happiness hopes and dreams. A human being has feelings. A human being  suffers when

ill treated and is unloved.

Nobody has the right to over look the importance and beauty of a woman  and use

her  for his own pleasure.